I am a 24 year female that was a victim of child molestation by two separate people within a three year span between ages 6 and 8. The first molestor was a 15 year old girl that babysat me once when my Mother wanted to go to the store with a friend. The girl watched me for 2 hour, but that was enough time for her to force sexual intercourse on me in a neighbors treehouse. The entire time I felt that what was happening didn’t feel right. I never knew who she was, and I never told me Mother everything that happened that day. I think that she suspected something happened though. The second occurance was when I was in second grade. This time the violator was my male math teacher. He would ask me to come to his desk which was in the center of the room where he would make me sit on his lap. He would proceed to put his hand inside my clothing and touch my genital area. He would also kiss my neck and cheek, and tell me that he loved me and that I shouldn’t tell. This happened half the school year, and I couldn’t sleep. I was always afraid. My Mom begged me to tell her which I finally did. We went to the school board to file a report I was 8 and I remember that I was drawing the most happiest pictures I could. The lady was very nice. I told her and my parents almost everything. The one thing that I left out and never told was that the teacher also followed me once into the little girls room and forced me to touch his penis and perform oral sex on him. I have never told a soul that the bathroom encounter occured. And now 17 years later that bit of detail has been haunting me. The worse part is that the teacher was not fired immediately, but was allowed to finish the school year. I was removed from his class, but I know that he was most likely not hurting just me. Years later I found out that he was fired many times in several different states and had abuse chiildren in many schools. I actually know his place of current employment. He works at the public library. I stop in once a year to make sure that he is not in the children’s reading area. The biggest effect that these experiences have caused is that I have a hard time trusting not only men but women and I doubt myself in a lot of social interactions. I have never dated, and have a habit of pushing advances of men that are interested in me. It took a long time to understand the confusion I have had with my sexuality, and I hope that opening up and telling my story will help me heal.
