I was in an abusive relationship for 2&1/2 years. Physically, I suffered from a dislocated jaw, 7 broken fingers, sprained ankle and wrist, numerous body slams, bruised ribs and black eyes that stayed on my face for about a year. I gave birth a month and a half early as a result of being thrown down the stairs while the father of the baby I was carrying proceeded to hit me and choke me. When my daughter was born, she was dead! They resusitated her and she spent the next month of her life in NICU. I lost everything! I had to move out of our home and had no money to do so. I moved in with a friend and her 2 children in a tiny 2 bedroom apt. I could not afford storage fees or a U-Haul and I lost everything that my children and I owned except for the clothes I had took with us. I live each day in fear of him and I’m angry that I cannot enjoy a day without being afraid. Bruises heal but my heart has not, he took my self dignity and my control of my own self away. My children still recall the violence and live in fear of him. I have alot of mixed emotions and have a hard time putting each one into perspective and at the same time, my children need a strong mother and that is the hardest task for me to provide for them, he took my confidence away. One day, I want to say I am a SURVIVOR and not a victim but until I regain all that was taken from me, I will remain a victim. It’s a long road to recovery but one thing he did not take away from is my SELF WILL and with that, I will become a survivor and no longer a victim. At this time, I cannot think of any way that he can repair what has been broken, he needs help and until he gets it, there is no way he can repair the lives he has disrupted!
Editor’s note:
The Community Justice Center believes the key to unlocking the problems with our justice system is restoring control and voices to victims. A victim tends to get lost in the shuffle of police, lawyers, judges and court rooms. Their questions don’t get answered and their story becomes nothing but yesterday’s crime.
Offenders become nothing but criminals doing time on holiday. Most never take full responsibility for the damage they have done. They don’t get a chance to feel the victim’s pain and try to make amends, even if that is all they can do. The victim has the key to getting across to offenders. Offenders need to understand the extreme gravity of the harm they put upon the victim and the community.
A major part of the Community Justice Center (CJC) is elevating victims voices so they are heard all while restoring a clear sense of control back. Through CJC victims begin the healing process and offenders know true accountability while learning about the true harm they caused real individuals and communities because of their actions. Share your comments and impact stories.